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Friday, February 10, 2012

Disability Retirement for Bipolar Disorder

I've been working on my disability retirement application lately.  I am applying for disability retirement from the Federal Government through the Federal Employee Retirement System (FERS).  My medical reason for retirement is bipolar disorder.

Early Consideration

I first considered FERS disability retirement (not to be confused with social security disability) probably ten years ago.  It was after my second visit by Mr. Mania.  I had managed to get myself on administrative leave for several months.  So, while I sat in my backyard and watched the grass grow, I began to contemplate how my disability affected my job.

Upon return to work I watched as the depression came on and settled in for a couple of years.  This deep and intrusive bipolar depression was making work unbearable at times.  Again I would wonder if my ability to work was compromised enough that I should look at disability retirement.

In the end however, I decided I could make it work.  I made it through that depression episode and became high functioning for many years, until recently.

Today's Perspective

After observing my last manic meltdown at work I have reconsidered my employment situation.  I now believe (most of the time) I am not entirely capable of managing my illness in such a way that will keep me continuously high functioning at my current job.

I need work that is structured differently.  I need the ability to work independently on a task by task basis.  I need to be able to work when well, which doesn't necessarily fit today's 9 to 5 paradigm (although that is changing).  My wellness and ability to function changes during the day and from day to day.

When I'm high functioning I can do a full week's worth of work, but just not in the regular work week routine.  I would benefit greatly if I had the ability to start and stop work as needed.

Future

The future depends a lot on whether I am approved for disability retirement.  Since I'm still putting together my application, it will be several months before I know.

Meanwhile, I am considering work alternatives.  This isn't going well.  I struggle to find something that is both seemingly worthwhile and sustainable from an illness management perspective.  My depression is obscuring things that would otherwise be liked or enjoyable. What a pisser.

6 comments:

  1. I hear you and can relate to you, I am bipolar 1 lots of meds dont work for me.
    I am considering the above as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TJ:

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Try going to psycheducation.org for more science about antidepressant withdrawal. It helps to have advice from someone in the profession (Dr. Phelps). Also, a reader just recommended http://survivingantidepressants.org/ for withdrawal and tapering. It's a user forum, which are often helpful for getting an "insiders" perspective on things. I checked it out and it's worthwhile. Take care, Jeff

      Delete
  2. Hello Jeff,
    Have you ever tried the site crazymeds.org? I love this site honest no crap real patients on the realities of psych drugs. Research is also very good and current. Regards, Sara

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    Replies
    1. Hi Sara and thanks for the crazymeds.org link. I checked it out and added it to my "list" Quickly I found that it provides a good breakdown of various attributes of my arch enemy antidepressant, Cymbalta.

      I'm getting off it since it no longer works. I started at 120 mg/day. It's taken me six months to get down to my current 40 mg/day.

      I've never had such a difficult time getting off a psychmed. In comparison, I tapered off Abilify last winter in just a few weeks with no problems whatsoever.

      Keep up the good fight(s)?

      Jeff

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  3. Hello Jeff,
    I received my Bipolar 2 Diagnosis 4 months ago. Getting off Zoloft took three months and now I am told I need to be switched to Lamictal from Seroquel.

    Some times I feel like my doctors are playing medication bingo with me.
    Thanks for the links they help a lot in my search find out whats going and how to deal with daily struggles.
    -S

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  4. Waldo - I too are quite concerned about the way psych docs dispense this stuff. My best recommendation is do exactly what you are doing, researching these psychotropic drugs. - Best of luck, Jeff

    ReplyDelete