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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Mired in Bipolar Depression Lately

Hi everybody! I want you to know I have been intending to post for many days now. I am not posting as much as usual for a couple of reasons:
  1. I put too many things on my plate for the month of May (and beyond) and
  2. I am getting dips into depression that make writing near impossible.
You Are Here

You know those directories in the mall that show you where you are within the mall. Well, mine says within the mall of moods you are in the basement. The path to ground level is not well defined. Thick, grey concrete walls everywhere.

I am coming out of a few days of strong bipolar depression. I started this post yesterday but was overwhelmed by the suffocating mood state and had to stop.

Severe depression symptoms of sadness, irritability, rumination on negative things, anxiety, and guilt are the major offenders. And these things come with an unwelcome decrease in functionality from poor concentration, confusion and lack of clarity, mental dullness, and fatigue.

Writing Depressed

I find it extremely painstaking to write when I'm significantly depressed. I know there are some folks that write from a depressed space and benefit from it. I continue to try this but have had little success.

Topics I have previously decided on developing seem lackluster at best. The inspiration needed is so distant and insufficient in this perverse melancholic state.

What now?

I hope and plan to be writing more again very soon. I'm going to slow down with my activities, goals, and expectations and work on taking each day at a time.

I am reassessing my goals and plans. I am getting my expectations more in line with my current state. But for now, I'll be struggling to catch up with ongoing obligations for many days.

I hope you all are doing well. And if it's bad for you right now just do what I'm doing, hanging in there!

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